Several months back I read The Phoenix Project, a tale about how one company changed its IT culture to great success. I found the advice mostly good, and the idea of dishing it out in narrative form kept things interesting, though I’d hardly call it a page-turner.

However, one aspect really bugged me about it: the “guru” character Erik is a real piece of work. Talking down to his colleagues. Deliberately getting names wrong. Assuming his own body odor smells of perfume, as the Amazon leadership principle warns against. In the actual world, without kindness, it doesn’t matter if you’re right all the time, no one will listen to you. This is just as true in the realm of technology work: ever been told to RTFM and felt like an idiot? You’re not alone. I have to fight being that kind of jerk, but it’s a fight worth having.

And of course it really shouldn’t be that hard of a fight. Just do the little things: be on time, be responsive, be quick to listen and slow to criticize. Be patient. Treat others as they wish to be treated.

Oh, and learn your colleagues names, both spelling and pronunciation. It’s a basic gesture of respect that goes a long way.