No Easy Answers

I’ve been managing technical people for a while now, but when it comes to asking good questions and listening well, I’m always learning. One thing I’ve discovered is that questions needn’t be complex to be effective. Here’s three I use regularly:

How do you feel about that?

Giving someone space to express their emotions is usually a good place to start when beginning a conversation. This is doubly true in the workplace, where there’s a misperception that feelings have no place. But we’re all human, and our effectiveness is predicated on aligning our emotions to the task at hand.

What could you do about that?

Once a person feels safe describing how they feel about a situation, it’s time to explore options for how to move forward. The word could here is critical, it’s a word about possibilities. Usually with just a little nudge, people will be able to come up with a variety of potential solutions on their own.

What do you want to do about that?

Too often people are asked to consider all sorts of factors when weighing options, but never their own desires. And especially not just surface desires, but what they truly want based on their own complex (and often competing and contradictory) web of values. It’s a powerful question; simple to ask, but hard to answer truthfully. Though once it is, I’ve found one often has all the data at hand to make a high quality decision.