Give And Ye Shall Receive

Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend.

We’re in the midst of performance review season, a process I enjoy. Really! Of course performance conversations can happen throughout the year, but there’s something especially valuable about a concentrated time of reflection and intense discussion. Describing strengths, celebrating successes, identifying growth opportunities, rooting out behaviors that are holding someone back; these are all reasons I became a manager in the first place.

It isn’t just a manager’s job, though. It’s incumbent on us all to both be seeking feedback on ourselves (especially critical feedback), and to give feedback to others. The responsibility of Radical Candor applies to everyone.

This responsibility can feel like a chore, if not a terrible annoyance. Pointing out shortcomings or negative behaviors in colleagues is uncomfortable at best, and if not done with grace and from a foundation of trust, can be damaging and career limiting. But when the feedback is honest, timely, actionable, and includes both positives and critiques, it is a great gift to the receiver. An act of love, even. We don’t use that word often in the workplace, and that’s unfortunate. Genuine human connection is the foundation of anything worth doing. It’s good for you, it’s good for your colleagues, and it’s also good business.

If you don’t know where to begin giving feedback, I recommend the SBI framework for guidance. And no matter if you discuss in person or provide in writing, you should give your feedback some thought ahead of time (and maybe take a few notes). I promise that it gets easier the more experiences you have giving it, though it will always be an emotional process, and that’s a good thing.